Short Story - Moving, Just Keep Moving

Walking, just keep walking. Don’t look over towards Claire and Sarah who are stood by their lockers with the same disgusted looks plastered on their faces. Walking, just keep walking.  Ignore Harry as he attempts to shove the third cup of coffee he’s bought you that day into your hand. Walking, just keep walking. And when Mrs Henry calls your name from over by the staff room pretend you haven’t heard. Because none of that matters, all you need to do is keep walking.  Run through the school car park, jump into your car and drive, just keep driving.

Driving, just keep driving. Four missed calls from dad and still he keeps calling, the same electronic tone ringing in your ears. Driving, just keep driving. Turn the radio up loud; drown out the sounds of horns and brakes. Driving, just keep driving.  And when your phone rings for the sixth time since ten o’clock ignore it, ignore him and her. Besides it’s unsafe to answer a call when driving, right? So keep on driving. Speed off road, down the winding lane and park up, right near the edge. Then get out and run, just keep running.

Running, just keep running. Let your hair wave crazily in the sea breeze, the curls dropping and knotting. Running, just keep running. Kick the sand behind you; leave delicate footprints imprinted on the ground. Running, just keep running. And when you reach the tip of the waves, watch as the shore kisses the sand, and then kick it. Splash the water; ruin it just like she did. Then run a little more, further, deeper. Stop, rip away your sweater and pumps, before throwing yourself in. Then dive deeper and swim, just keep swimming.

Swimming, just keep swimming. Dunk your head under, deep into the depths of the cold, dark water. Swimming, just keep swimming. Move your body ferociously, until you can no longer feel the cold. Swimming, just keep swimming. And grin as you realise your hair is wet through, laugh as you feel the mascara trickling down your face. Laugh aloud because it’s a mess; another mess she’s caused. Swim a little more, but this time closer to shore. Crawl, crawl and claw at the sand as you make your way through the shallow water. Then watch as they make their way towards you and scream, just keep screaming.

Screaming, just keep screaming. Turn your back on dad as he calls out your name for the fiftieth time in one minute. Screaming, just keep screaming. Shake your head at Harry as he stumbles far behind, coffee cup in hand, pretending to understand. Screaming, just keep screaming. And when you see a skinny frame, with a sorry face, hope it isn’t her. Hope you’ve got it wrong; a mistaken glance muddled by tears. Scream a little more, but this time quieter, weaker.  Glide, glide and aim your hand towards her face. Then laugh at her reaction, a shocked expression, that same shocked expression you witnessed that night, when you were sitting, just innocently sitting.

Sitting, just keep sitting. That’s what you told yourself when she stumbled down the stairs at what usually would be her bed time. Sitting, just keep sitting. Shaking your head in disbelief, a tear spilled down your cheek, as Mr Enderson closely followed, an accomplished look on his face. Sitting, just keep sitting. And when they turned to you and gasped, you closed your eyes. You hoped it was a dream; that it would end if you just kept sitting and wishing.  But then you opened your eyes, wiped away a stray tear, and with eyes bright and wide you stared at her. Directly at your mother, and she knew, knew what a mess she’d made. And that was the first time you laughed at her, not with her at her, you laughed in anger, in pity, in disgust, and realised what you needed to do.

Moving, just keep moving. You walked out of the front door, drove down the highway, parking outside your favourite diner. Moving, just keep moving.  You needed that constant movement, so you ran inside, ordered yourself a strawberry smoothie, and then sang along to the radio. Moving, just keep moving. It was the only way to take your mind away from the thought of her, the only way to guarantee you could stay strong. And when Harry walked in and offered you a cider you kindly declined; not wanting to turn out like her. You sat and laughed as he told jokes, focusing on what you needed to do. Moving a little more, you dragged Harry from his seat. Focusing, focusing on forgetting about your mother.

Wrecked, everything is wrecked. Dropping to your knees with a heavy thud you weep and whimper as he whispers your name. Wrecked, everything is wrecked. Whilst lying in the sand, let Harry hold you tightly whilst clasping your hand. Wrecked, everything is wrecked. And now you are still, no longer moving, no longer focusing. The stillness keeps you sane, it makes you think. It makes you face the truth; she ruined it, and walking, driving, swimming and every other movement cannot change that. So you watch, you watch as her world crumbles around her. And you allow her to whisper a simple sorry and goodbye, before trudging away, over the dunes and out of sight.